It’s no lie that when you have your second your parenting style changes a bit. I mean, it has to because if your spouse or significant other are at work and you’re home, you’re outnumbered 2:1. It’s not possible (at least for me anyways) to parent the exact same way you did before your new little bundle of joy entered the world. I’ve noticed there has been several changes in my parenting style since little Eli blessed us with his presence and it’s not to say that they’re all negative or I was a “better mom” to Nate, I’ve just had to adapt because now I have two kids and some things just had to change. There’s two tiny humans who depend on me for everything and although Nate is older now and will be starting Kindergarten this September, he still needs me and I can’t just refuse to help him.
Take a read below to see what I mean.
Then– Oh no, Nate spit up on his onesie! I better change him immediately! He can’t be wearing something covered in baby puke! This is the seventh outfit today that he’s ruined but that’s ok! I’ll just wash it with the other three loads of laundry I need to do!
Now– Crap Eli, you spit up on your onesie… again. Alright, let’s get the wet wipes and clean you up! Sorry bud, you’re still going to wear this because I can’t keep doing laundry just for baby puke.
Then– Well, the baby is napping; time to vacuum the house, wash the floors, put away all the laundry, scoop the cat litter, empty the dishwasher, etc, etc, etc.
Now– Well, the baby is sleeping and Nate is upstairs playing quietly; time to relax on the couch and binge out on Netflix while ignoring all the housework I need to complete because momma needs a break!
Then– Please make sure you either wash or sanitize your hands before holding my baby.
Now– As long as you aren’t sick, getting over being sick, or just picked your nose; here, take him!
Then– Uh-oh Nate just peed after I just changed his bum! Well, let’s change you again!!
Now- Dude! You just peed again after I just changed you! Oh well, diapers are expensive, you’re gonna have to wait a little bit. (side note: Eli literally could sit in a poopy diaper for hours and you’d never know it because he literally does not cry because he’s wet or dirty)
Then– I’m going to make my own baby food for Nate because I don’t trust what’s in the baby foods on the markets.
Now– I am so not making my own baby food this time around. Nate pretty much HATED my homemade stuff and absolutely LOVED store bought baby food and he survived soooooo….yeah that’s just how it’s gonna be E.
Then– Oops, baby’s crying! Gotta stop everything I’m doing and run to go get him! (this includes leaving the shower with conditioner still in my hair, stopping mid pee, leaving the kitchen garbage in the middle of the floor)
Now– Man, Eli’s crying again. Ok, hang on buddy!! Mommy’s coming in just a second. Sorry kiddo, you’re just going to have to cry for a few minutes! I’ll be there in just a sec, I promise!! (usually because I’m in the middle of wiping Nate’s butt, making him lunch, or trying to brush my teeth)
Then– I can’t wait until Nate can sit up, crawl, walk, talk, etc!!!!!
Now– OH MY GOD, Eli is sitting up slightly on his own! NO! Time how could you do this to me again!? Why can’t you slow down for just a few minutes!? My baby is growing up too fast!!
Then– Someone giving me unwanted parenting advice or openly judging me: Them- “Did you know that…” Me- “Oh my God! I had no idea! I’ll stop doing that immediately!” Me- starts questioning myself as a mother and thinking I’m raising my son horribly and how could I even have a baby since I’m doing literally everything wrong according to this random person!
Now– Someone giving me unwanted parenting advice or openly judging me: Them “Did you know that…” Me- “Well, this isn’t my first rodeo actually. I have an older boy who turned out pretty great despite me doing literally everything wrong according to those perfect, helicopter parents.” Me- I’m a kick-ass mom regardless of what that random person thinks of me!
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being a mom to these two little monsters. They are the greatest things to have ever happened to me and although I might parent Eli slightly different than I did Nate, that doesn’t mean one kid is going to be better than the other. We all have to adapt our parenting when the second, third, fourth, etc. come along but as long as they’re getting all the love, support, and nurturing they need to thrive, then it doesn’t matter if some things are slightly different. I love both my boys equally and it’s been the best job getting to be their mom!