My dearest sweet Nate,

Tomorrow you are six months old! I can’t believe how quickly the last six months have come and gone! It feels like only yesterday I just casually decided at 11pm on a Monday night to take a pregnancy test just because I had an extra one in my bathroom drawer. You see, I had taken one on that past Friday because I wanted to be sure I wasn’t pregnant before going skiing on Saturday. It was negative and I was crushed, however; I felt better about going skiing knowing I wouldn’t be risking anything. Monday night your dad was watching t.v. downstairs and I was laying in bed upstairs. For some reason I felt the urge just to ‘double check’ that the first test was correct. Imagine my surprise when both lines showed up clear as day within seconds. But how could that be? Only three days ago it was negative. I remember your dad coming upstairs and asking why the bathroom door was locked (duh because I was using the toilet!) but I unlocked it and couldn’t help but look at him with the biggest smile. When he saw the test on the counter is he asked why I was taking another one. He knew on Friday it had been negative. I remember the look on his face when I told him this test came out positive! We both agreed not to get too excited until I called my doctor, got blood work done, and had my first ultrasound.

Seeing you on the ultrasound screen for the first time was the most indescribable feeling. I remember seeing your teeny tiny heart beat plus two other highlighted flashing areas on the screen. Part of me panicked thinking it was triplets! Haha! The ultrasound technician explained to me that it was just the blood flow through the placenta. She pointed to the one that was your actual heart beat and my own heart filled with the purest love I have ever felt. In that moment I knew my sole purpose in life was to be the best mother I could possibly be to you. After the ultrasound, I went into the doctor’s office and was able to hear your rapid little heart beat on the Doppler. Again, I knew I would love you unconditionally for the rest of my life.

The past six months have been a whirlwind of emotions for myself as well as your dad. Nothing fully prepares you for becoming a new parent. All of the sudden there’s someone depending on you for everything and it’s your job to keep them safe and happy and loved. Yes, we struggled in the beginning. You were so colicky that there were days when I would just cry and cry and cry with you telling you (and me I suppose) that everything was going to be o.k. And there were days when your dad swore up and down you hated him because the moment he got home from work you started screaming. But we survived and through it all our love for you only grew.

The day you started smiling at me, my heart actually hurt because I was so over come with emotion. You were just laying on your changing table while I was getting you dressed and you looked up at me and I guess I was making a silly face at you or something because you got the biggest, gummiest, smile I’d ever seen. I started laughing because of how adorable you looked and you tried so hard to laugh back but nothing would come out! Every day since then I’ve noticed the biggest (and smallest) changes in you! You’re a much happier baby now and have been since about three months. You absolutely adore me and your dad. You laugh at almost anything we do even if we don’t mean to be funny. You have grown out of so many clothes and diapers I almost can’t believe you were ever even in newborn stuff and every day you continue to surprise and amaze me at the things you’re capable of doing!

At two months you barely needed any head and neck support. At three months you sat up without any assistance for just over five seconds. At four months you started rolling from tummy to back and at five months you started rolling from back to tummy. Now at six months old you can sit up for almost a minute or two with no support and you’re able to correct yourself if you start falling over. You’re trying so hard to crawl now as well! You can get yourself up onto your knees briefly so I know it’s only a matter of time before you’re on the move! I can’t wait to see what you’ll learn next but at the same time I don’t want you to grow up! I wish time could slow down just a little so I could have you as an infant for a while longer!

You are so loved my baby boy. Everyone adores you and thinks you’re just the cutest little thing! Happy six months little man! I just know the next six months are going to be a wild ride!

Love always and forever.

Mama

xo