Mom Life

The Strange Things I Now Do as a Parent

It recently hit me that since becoming a parent I do some really weird or strange things that if my past self saw, she’d probably shake her head at. Some of these little quirks are things that I think most moms/dads do and some I’m sure people will read and think “WTH!?” haha so here goes…

Unless I know Nate is sleeping at night time I never go to the bathroom with the door closed anymore. Sorry TMI but it’s true. Even when I know I’ve put him into his crib or playpen I need to have the bathroom door open to hear or peek at him. Obviously, if Kurt is home I like to keep some mystery in our relationship so I’ll shut the door but otherwise, yeah, it’s always open.

I now shower in stages. What does that mean? Well, I’ll tell you. Long gone are the days where I could accomplish everything I need to accomplish in one shower. No longer can I take a leisurely shower where I wash and condition my hair, exfoliate my skin, shave my legs. No. Nowadays it’s “Okay, I washed my hair Tuesday night so Wednesday morning I’ll shave my legs, unless I’m working then I’ll do it when I get home. Okay, now Thursday I gotta make sure I get a body scrub done so that means Friday night or Saturday morning I need to wash my hair again. Then maybe the following Monday shave? Okay. That’s the plan!” Seriously. I now shower in stages. Am I conserving water? Probably not. But I cannot accomplish it all in one shower anymore. Nate just doesn’t have that much patience yet.

I never thought I would smell another person’s butt. Yes, okay it’s only Nate’s (thank god! Cause can you imagine if it was someone else’s? Police would definitely be called). But still. I fully remember the first few times I watched my friend’s do it to their children and I thought “Nope. Never ever going to happen.” But you know what? Unfortunately, sometimes it’s the only way to know for sure!

I forget to eat. Yeah, like forget. Not that I don’t have time which does happen numerous times a week too. But like actually forget. Like it’ll hit me at 4 pm that I haven’t eaten since 8:30 in the morning because I’ve been playing with Nate then during nap time trying to get caught up on all the housework and laundry. It’s like my body doesn’t even recognize that it should be hungry anymore. It just lives off whatever fat I’m storing!

Sometimes I call the cats Nate. I’m so used to saying “Nate, no” or “No no Nate. We don’t do that” that when the cats are fighting or misbehaving I immediately call them by his name instead of theirs. I wish I could say it happens occasionally but just this morning when Ari was biting my heel while I was trying to get an extra five minutes of sleep, I said “Nate for the love of God stop!” then realized it was definitely a cat I was speaking to. Not our child. I also yelled “NATE!” extremely loudly at Milo one day when he was attacking Ari and sadly, Nate was standing beside me playing and burst into tears thinking I was yelling at him. Oops!

There are multiple times a week that I wake up in the morning dreaming about 10 pm when I get to climb back into my warm, comfy, cozy bed. Obviously, I did this before Nate was born too but now it’s like a dirty fantasy or something. It’s so funny how much I can think about my bed in one day. I’m just so tired all the time that my bed is like heaven or something and it just floats constantly into my thoughts all day long.

So I hoped you enjoyed reading my little list of the weird things I do now that I’m a parent and hopefully got a bit of a chuckle from it! If you guys have any weird habits or quirks that you do now please feel free to share! Maybe I won’t feel so alone in my weirdness! Haha!

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