My little sweet, sweet Natey-Nate; you’re fast approaching 20 months old! This absolutely delights me but if I’m being entirely honest, which I have promised myself I will always be to you, it also terrifies me to no end. As much as I want you to grow up, part of me wants you to stay little and with me for always. The world is such a scary place and sometimes the amount of evil out there frightens me to my core. I want to keep you away from it all. To keep you safe but I know that I can’t. One day, you’ll be all grown up and won’t need me any more; I can even now begin to see it. In the way you don’t need me to hold your bottle for you. In the the way you can [almost] get your shoes on your feet yourself. In the way that I’ve watched you mimic me to learn something new. I know you’re growing up right before my eyes and that terrifies me. I’d love to keep you at the age you are now for just a little longer. I don’t really want to stop you from growing up, I just want to be able to enjoy all the snuggles before you’re ‘too cool’ for that, to get in as many kisses as I can before ‘girls have cooties’, and to get to hang out with you all day long before you only want to hang out with your friends.
Every day with you is a new adventure. From the time you started moving on your own, you haven’t stopped. You’re always so busy. Whether it’s rolling all your toy balls down the hardwood floor or pushing your trucks and making a vvvvrrrrroooommmm noise, you’re constantly on the go. There are days I go to bed exhausted because you kept me running around all day long. I wouldn’t trade those days for anything else in this world. There isn’t a day that goes by that you don’t do something that amazes me. The first time I heard you clearly say “Mama” and I instinctively answered you without even realizing what you said, to the time I first realized you knew when the train was coming past our house; there’s nothing that you do that doesn’t cause me to stop, smile, and look at you with such awe and amazement. You make me so proud to be your mom. I love taking you places and hearing people talk to you. You have he warmest eyes and smile I’ve ever seen. It seems like people can’t help but be drawn to you. There is a light that shines off of you my sweet boy and I don’t want anything to ever diminish that glow. You are fierce, stubborn, and full of fire; which is safe to say you inherited from me but you are also shy at times, hilariously funny, and full of a personality that you received from your daddy.
Words can’t express just how much I love you. I will always be on your side. I will always fight for you and protect you. I will always tell you when you’re in the wrong. I will always do my absolute best to make sure you receive the absolute best in this life. I promise I will always, always love you. I cannot imagine life without you in it. You have completely changed me and the way I view the world and for that I am eternally grateful. I love you my baby boy.
P.s. this is you currently having a melt down because you don’t want to take a nap.