Mom Life

What’s Harder 1 to 2 or 2 to 3?

One question I keep getting asked is how did I find the transition from two to three kids. Was it easier or harder than the transition from one to two or was it about the same? And while this is only my opinion, I’ve personally found that adding Sage into our family hasn’t changed much. Yes, there’s an added stress level that comes with having a new baby and the Covid-19 pandemic sure has thrown a wrench into our lives but I still stand by my statement. I think that going from one to two children was much, much harder.

Nathan was just under three years old when Eli was born (two years, nine months to be exact) and being our only child he was used to getting all of mine and Kurt’s attention. I remember feeling so overwhelmed and guilty about how I was going to divide my time between both my boys. These feelings and emotions started fairly early on in my pregnancy and carried into the first few months of Eli’s life. It felt like no matter what I did, one of them was getting the short end of the stick. I was constantly worried that they wouldn’t feel as loved or as special and there were definitely days when I felt like a terrible mom if I told Nathan he had to wait for something or if I had to let Eli cry longer than I normally would in order to help Nathan. It was such a struggle some days and when I reflect on that time, I think about how I could have handled certain situations differently. I just wasn’t used to having to prioritize my children and figure out what I needed to get done first.

But when Sage was born, bringing her home didn’t seem like a big deal at all. I wasn’t stressed or worried. I wasn’t scared. I didn’t question how was I going to love her as much as the boys. And I wasn’t panicking about how I would be able to split up my time between three of them. Sure, the first few days there were some hiccups and adjustments but overall, everything went smoothly. Once you’re used to multi-tasking with your children, adding more of them doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. I can easily be burping Sage while getting the boys a snack and scheduling appointments on the phone all at the same time nowadays. I don’t worry that they aren’t going to feel loved if I make them wait an extra five minutes while I feed her and I know that if she’s crying Nathan is old enough now to understand why she needs to come first. Both Nathan and Eli have taken on their big brother roles very seriously and since Eli has always had Nathan around, he’s used to sharing his time with me.

Every day isn’t a picnic in the park and there’s certainly times when I want to pull my hair out but overall, adding another baby, hasn’t made my life any more or less chaotic. Once you’ve mastered two kids, I think you can easily handle three or more. Unless you have twins… then God speed my friend!

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