To my sweet little Nate,
I cannot believe you are turning ONE in five days! I know I say it all the time but this year went by quicker than I ever thought was possible. I remember during the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I couldn’t wait for your arrival. Every time I felt a Braxton Hicks contraction I would convince myself that you were coming. I wanted to meet you so badly. I wanted you to be in my arms and I wanted to give you all the kisses I could give. You’ve been in our lives for a year (longer counting the months I was pregnant with you) and I don’t think I could ever have imagined just how happy I could be. Yes, I was happy with my life before you but it didn’t feel ‘complete’ yet. You did that for me. For us. You helped to create our little family. You’ve given me the blessing of becoming a mother and the unconditional love that comes along with it. I love your wonderful, stubborn, hilarious personality. I love the mischievous twinkle in your eye. I love how some days you look identical to me and other days you’re a dead ringer for your dad. I love watching you interact with the cats as well as other babies. I love seeing the look of wonder and astonishment that crosses your face when you see something new for the first time. And most of all, I love how much I love you.
This year has been filled with some of the hardest, yet rewarding days I’ve ever had. There were mornings when I didn’t want to get out of bed because I was so exhausted but hearing your cry gave me the push I needed to get myself up. There were days when all I could do was hold you and cry with you because you were so colicky and nothing helped. There were times in the middle of the night that I wished you would just go back to sleep for us. But through it all, there were never days I wished you didn’t exist. You are our whole world. Even through all the tears, screams, fights, and sleepless nights, you’ve given us a new purpose.
I will always be on your side. I will never give up on you. I will love you with all that I have. You are my pure pride and joy. You are my everything. I know you won’t understand on Monday that you’re one year old but I hope one day you will understand just how important that day and every day past and present with you has been to your dad and I.