I never really pictured myself as being a “girl mom”. I mean, I knew there was always a 50/50 chance I would have a girl but for some reason whenever I thought of having my own children, I always envisioned them being boys; regardless of how many kids I saw myself having, I never pictured a little girl in the mix. I would imagine a house full of rambunctious, crazy boys running around and causing a whole lot of happy chaos. When we announced we were expecting another baby (Eli) people would often ask if I “wanted this one to be a girl” and I would always reply I didn’t care either way but I really did want a little brother for Nathan. He was such a mama’s boy when he was younger and I was really hoping to experience that love all over again. I was so excited when we were told that Eli was a boy and not for one second did I experience gender disappointment with him. I was truly so happy to know I was going to be the mom of two amazing little boys.
When I discovered I was pregnant with Sage from very early on in the pregnancy, I had a SMALL suspicion that she was in fact a girl. I didn’t really give into those thoughts but every now and then I would catch myself thinking “yep, this one’s a girl”. Kurt, on the other hand, would tell people we were going to go 3 for 3 with boys for sure and I would laugh along because yeah, the odds were definitely on our side for that outcome but when the ultrasound tech (who had said at the beginning of our 20 week ultrasound she thought baby was a boy because of how active baby was being) told us “No, I think it’s actually a girl”, something in me shifted completely. All of the sudden I envisioned all the shades of pink, ruffles, flowers, dolls, tea parties basically all the “girly” stuff that boys aren’t always interested in. I started thinking back to some of my favourite things to do as a little girl and realized that now I would get to experience it all over again with my daughter. I spent much of the rest of my pregnancy worrying that the ultrasound tech had been wrong all along and literally telling people (even while in labour) that I was preparing to be told that baby was actually another boy which would have been fine in the end despite the already decorated nursery.
I know that with having two older brothers, there’s a chance that Sage may decide to forgo playing with dolls and Barbies and instead opt for cars, trucks, and trains which I would gladly accept because boy mom life is still strong in me but until then, I get to live in this happy bubble of what my future being a girl mom could look like and while maybe a few years ago this wouldn’t have seemed fun to me, now I see this possible future as a huge and wonderful blessing.